DAY SEVEN: Piece of work

I don’t know what is wrong with me. It is December 23, and I have barely introduced the Christmas story. I can’t be trusted.

TODAY I promise to at least use a familiar Christmas passage. In an effort to move things along, let’s pretend we’ve talked about:

An angel tells Mary she’s pregnant with God. (crazy)

Joseph, a GREAT guy, doesn’t want to embarrass Mary, so he plans to divorce her quietly. Instead, God speaks to him in a DREAM and he begins to care for Mary and face the gossip and humiliation with her.

Caesar Augustus decides he wants to count all the people that he rules over, and he requires that they return to their hometowns to be registered. Joseph is from Bethlehem.

Mary rides a donkey for 60 miles (!) while 9 months pregnant.

They arrive in Bethlehem only to discover that every other person got there before them. There is no place to stay, and Mary goes into labor.

Seeing her condition, one man offers them his stable (which was really a cave – not the wooden structures we see in manger scenes). Desperate, Joseph accepts the offer, and the God of the Universe is born amongst domestic animals. And, for one breathless moment, no one on earth understood the heart and plans of God better than a teenage girl, a carpenter and some goats.

Which brings us to today’s Christmasy thoughts.

I don’t know why God chose to tell shepherds first, but it makes me smile. It may be of interest to you that shepherds were the lowest of the low in that society. As a matter of fact, in a court of law, a shepherd’s testimony was not even considered admissible because they were so untrustworthy. They were dirty, slept outside, and smelled like the animals they tended.

It is to these folks that an angel appears. He says:

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

Just think. You’re sitting by the campfire. You were bummed to get the night shift. Your shepherd buddy is going on and on about how he plans to attend business school some day and work his way out of this shepherding gig, and something appears in the sky…

I am particularly interested in what the angels say. They are crazy well-known words if you’ve ever gone to a Christmas Eve service, but look at it again: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

PEACE. Peace seems like such an unattainable thing, and I’m not just talking about the Iraqi War type peace. Peace amongst neighbors. Peace on TV. Peace deep inside my spirit.

It makes these words even more intriguing. Peace to men on whom his favor rests. Besides the regrettable fact that the men who wrote and translated the Bible came from patriarchal societies and failed to say, “Peace to men AND WOMEN,” there is this additional thought, “on whom His favor rests.” What does that mean?

Before you accuse God of being selective and/or exclusive, consider this idea. In order for God to fix the world (bring peace), He wants to fix me (give me peace, so I can be peaceful). Being fixed requires my cooperation. When I offer up my life, open up my mind and heart, I am available to receive His favor. I can taste peace.

But I can be a piece of work, believe me. I can be stubborn, and a know-it-all, and unyielding (think yesterday). I am, however, open. I have decided to believe and confess that Jesus is the God who came to get us. My heart is bent toward cooperation. And every once in a while, God and I celebrate when our partnership works as designed, and I am changed.

So I guess that makes me a work-in-progress on whom His favor rests.

Peace is work for a piece of work, and favor RESTING on me sounds like Christmas.

One last thought. The Scripture goes on to say about our shepherds: So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.

God chooses the most unreliable, untrustworthy witnesses to tell His story. Oh, I feel like that sometimes! Why would God pick me?

I'm just one more tangible proof Christmas. There is no challenge too big, there is no person so lost, there is no doubt so overwhelming, there is no pride too steep, there is no world so mixed up, that He cannot step into and redeem. All we need to do is cooperate by believing in the God who came to get us. And then His favor rests.

Peace to you this Christmas.

DAY SIX: Getting down to it

Day Six. Catch up if you need to.

We’ve been talking about how God wants to use Christmas introduce us to an alternate reality. I’m actually inclined to believe that His way, His Truth, is the only real thing and what we live in now is more of a foggy, chaotic mess than we realize. But anyway…

I have a friend named Jeff who was in the theatre with me. As a matter of fact, he is now a professor of theatre, and I have always loved the way he THINKS. He directed a play, years ago, that he adapted from a book by a man named Calvin Miller. It is an allegory about God, and when Mr. Miller refers to Christmas, he says, “And now the great reduction has begun…”

One profound way that God demonstrated not only His love for us, but this alternative way of seeing the world, was His choosing to become a man in order to communicate with us – to blaze the trail to real life - so to speak.

Take a look at Philippians with me – another not so famous Christmas book (along with Job). Paul, its author, describes Christmas this way:

5…Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!

Now this is a fairly significant alternative reality if we understand it correctly. God REDUCED Himself to be a baby. He reduced Himself to be a man.

As funny and obvious as this sounds, you and I are not God. We so live like we are though, don’t we? We rely on ourselves, we follow our own code of life and conduct, we base our decisions on our feelings, we trust our logic. We think we’re in control. And, oh, how we self-aggrandize! EVERYBODY wants to be important, everyone wants to be known. We look for affirmation around every corner, and if we do not get it, we invent things that make us valuable and noticed.

The idea of CHOOSING to be reduced just seems nuts, in a culture that insists that we claim our rights, that we are always satisfied, that comfort and happiness are always the goal. And yet, the God who came to get us chose this path.

What if Christmas is saying to us, “There is a way to be satisfied, but you must dare to see and do everything differently.” Christmas makes every day Opposite Day! When you think you need to self-aggrandize, serve someone. When you have the right of way, yield instead. When you are tempted to think you’re God, choose reduction.

Sounds painful and hard, right? Yeah, it often is. I faced a situation last week where I felt like taking someone’s head off. I quite literally had to remember my Lamaze classes (my youngest is 9) in order to maintain my composure with this woman. In the end, I didn’t tell her off, I didn’t even overwhelm her with words (even though my words would have been true and I am particularly gifted at out-talking people) and I made space for grace to work. Yes, my tongue was bleeding from being bitten so hard. Yes, I had to yell into my pillow after the phone call. Yes, I felt like calling my closest friends to gossip. Yes, I felt reduced.

Yes, I knew I had done the right thing and had no regrets. Yes, I know that God is already working things out for my good. Yes, I represented myself, my family and my God well. Yes, it’s going to be okay.

Here’s that Philippians Christmas scripture in its entirety. It’s not just about the reduction of God, it’s about the reduction of us:

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father….

14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out the word of life…

Imagine a world without self-aggrandizing, without complaining, without selfish ambition, without arguing. It’s the world that God came to introduce us to. We think December 25 is Christmas Day, but in truth, it’s Opposite Day.

Get reduced for Christmas this year. I suspect it really is the gift that keeps on giving.

DAY FIVE: Waiting vs. Ready

OK – Day 5. Let’s look at the idea of God using Christmas to introduce an alternative reality (remember The Matrix reference on Day 3?).

On the church calendar, this time of year is called Advent. The name Advent comes from two Latin words, advenire (to come to) & adventus (an arrival). People who understand it correctly know that it is a time of waiting – remembering the waiting that the world did before God came to get us, and waiting for when He will do it again.

When I was a kid, I hated to wait until Christmas Day. I can remember looking for the hidden gifts, wanting to just rip off every little flap on the Advent calendar, and wondering why time moved SOOOO slowly (I no longer think it does, by the way). To make matters worse, my family took an eternal 9 hour car ride to get to Ontario for Christmas every year. I had heard about other families who opened gifts on Christmas Eve and badgered my father about why we didn’t adopt such a fine tradition. Basically, I was in favor of anything that meant less waiting.

In the Old Testament we learn that the Jewish people were waiting for their Messiah to come. After all they had been through (captivity, exile, wandering around in the desert for 40 years, some seriously terrible kings…) they waited for God to come and FIX the situation. They envisioned a mighty warrior king who would conquer their oppressors and reclaim their status. Their prophets described a different God, but I always amaze myself when I EXPECT what I long for, not necessarily what is, so I kind of understand how they got it mixed up.

Hindsight is 20/20 though, right? Having the benefit of the whole story, it now seems pretty clear. Take for instance this snippet from the book of Isaiah, written generations before Jesus’ birth:

13 Then Isaiah said, "Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also? 14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

Now at the risk of committing heresy, here’s my own paraphrase: Listen up, people! Why are you being so awful to each other? Don’t you realize that every time you act like idiots, you hurt God too? Well, He's going to come and meet you, talk with you, help you understand the truth you are missing, prove His love - but be forewarned, He's going to come in an unbelievable way and His name will affirm His Presence with you. You get the idea, right?

I wish the Gospel writers had been more like the writers of soap operas. You know how you can miss two whole weeks of a soap opera, but not miss much of the story line? I have this longing to read all the “in between” words – the words in between Mary’s visit from the angel and the day she and Joseph left for Bethlehem. The Jews knew their scriptures, so when Mary told her parents that an angel had appeared, that she was a pregnant virgin, and that she had been instructed to call the baby Immanuel, did her parents recall Isaiah’s prophecy? Did the people in her town remember it as her belly started to grow?

Or, perhaps, they were waiting for the Messiah, but not ready for Him.

I suspect we approach the truth of Christmas in much the same way. We are waiting for God to come FIX this mess – or we wonder why, if He is such a gracious and all-powerful God, He let things get so out of hand in the first place. We expect Him to do things on our terms (remember our ideas about Job and self-interest? Do we embrace God so that He will bless us and give us good things?) instead of being ready to let Him lead, let Him reveal the truth to us, let Him fix us so He can fix the world.

There is a whole different way to live and relate to each other and to God. God orchestrated Christmas in an unexpected way to challenge all our pre-conceived ideas about Him and about our reality. A pregnant virgin? Angels? God born in a stable? Doesn’t make any sense in my world.

Now that I am grown, I do not necessarily like to wait, but I have at least recognized its merits. Something about waiting is often good for me - delaying my own desires, forcing me to see things differently, giving me time to step outside my preconceived ideas and entertain a different way instead. Waiting teaches me patience and perseverance.

It gets me ready.

DAY FOUR: What's the 365 day deal with angels?

I am starting to wish I had never started these Christmas posts. I don’t think I can do them justice in under 5,000 words. Anyway, we’ll keep trying and this is only Day Four.

Let’s talk angels. Angels played a significant part in the Christmas story. So much so, in fact, that many churches dress people in sheets and garland halos for their holiday programs. I am a Christmas angel detractor, myself, because if we are true to the Bible, we may be doing it all wrong. Truth be told, angels are fierce warriors who wield swords, not singers and harp players (there is not one reference in the Bible to them singing or making music). They have, however, eaten food with humans (Abraham and Lot), wrestled (Jacob), obstructed paths (Adam and Eve, and later Balaam) and delivered God’s messages of hope or judgment – revealing the mind and heart of God to humankind.

Angels are really cool creatures, but are nothing like the little cherubs that we wear as guardians on our jackets. The Bible does not describe any baby angels. This concept arose from Greek and Roman mythology. Cherubim in the Bible are described in Ezekiel 10 as having wings and hands, being full of eyes all over their bodies, and with eyes even on their mysterious wheels. Cherubim have four faces pointing in four directions and seem to be symbolic of heavenly realities. Now that I would like to see in lapel pin form.

For our Christmas tale, however, angels influence history at several major moments. First, one appears to Zechariah. Second, an angel appears directly to Mary. Angels speak to Joseph in two dreams. Lastly, a group of angels announce the birth of Christ at night to some shepherds.

As distorted as our understanding of angels is, two things are for sure: 1. they often act as messengers and/or ambassadors for God. Sort of like a reflection of Him and His desires, but they are not God Himself. 2. with almost every appearance, they provoked FEAR.

Examples:

Luke 1:11 Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. 12 When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear.

Luke 1:26 In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27 to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. 28 The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." 29 Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.

Luke 2:8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.

So, if they are the messengers of God, and they scare everyone they come in contact with, what do you think God has them say first?

To Zechariah, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah…” (Luke 1:13)

To Mary, “Do not be afraid, Mary…” (Luke 1:30)

To the shepherds, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news…” (Luke 2:10)

As a matter of fact, the words “Do not be afraid” appear 365 times in the Bible. That’s one for every day of the year. Makes for a pretty reassuring 12 months. On days you're having trouble hearing Him, these words might be a great place to start.

Here’s one of my Christmas conclusions. God is a little scary. He seems HUGE and POWERFUL and AWESOME and I believe that a healthy reverence for His bigness, as opposed to our smallness, is definitely in order. Sometimes we read the Old Testament and wonder why in the world He seemed to wipe out whole races of people, why He would send a flood, why He would allow Job to suffer so (remember Day 2?). He is just too big to understand - even His messengers need to soothe the panic of humankind. “Do not be afraid…”

Funny, on the occasion of Christmas, when He chooses not to send a messenger, but opts to come get us Himself, He comes as a baby. A baby is almost the opposite of an angel (not the fake lapel kinds, the real ones). A baby is the farthest thing from scary that I can think of, unless he’s colicky, of course.

Do not be afraid, humankind. Let me help you relax and understand and feel safe. I’ll come as a baby. No sword. No power. No clothes. I’ll take the same path to enter the world as you did. Think of it! We were both babies once, you and Me.

DAY THREE: He's makin' a list...gonna find out who's naughty and nice

If you are just joining us, make note that we are on Day 3. You may want to scroll down and catch up first.

We discussed yesterday how God decided to come get us for a multitude of reasons: to reconcile His relationship with us, to clear up our misconceptions about Who He is and how He longs to relate to humankind, and to give us directions to the true reality – a reality that we have replaced with a life that seems real, but isn’t (think The Matrix). There are other reasons too – not the least of which I’m sure was to touch us and be touched - but the former are the ones we mentioned yesterday.

Not to prolong the inevitable appearance of shepherds and Magi even further, but I think it may help us to look at HOW He came, or at least one aspect of it.

When I talk about the Gospels, I am talking about the first four books of the New Testament – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. These books tell the story of God as a man – Jesus – from birth to death to life. Both Matthew (1) and Luke (3) include a genealogy for Jesus. Fair warning, the genealogies differ, but it’s Matthew’s that I am interested in today.

Matthew writes a long list of strange names. It was always a joke, when I was still on a church staff, if one of us had to read this part of Scripture out loud in front of the congregation. We knew, amongst ourselves, that none of us really knew how to pronounce many of these names, but if you stood behind the pulpit and read with confidence, no one was the wiser. Here they are:

1A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, the son of Abraham: 2Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar, Perez the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram, 4Ram the father of Amminadab, Amminadab the father of Nahshon, Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse, 6and Jesse the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah's wife, 7Solomon the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa, 8Asa the father of Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram, Jehoram the father of Uzziah, 9Uzziah the father of Jotham, Jotham the father of Ahaz, Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, 10Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, Manasseh the father of Amon, Amon the father of Josiah, 11and Josiah the father of Jeconiah and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon. 12After the exile to Babylon: Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, 13Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, Abiud the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor, 14Azor the father of Zadok, Zadok the father of Akim, Akim the father of Eliud, 15Eliud the father of Eleazar, Eleazar the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob, 16and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

Later, Matthew tells us that Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit, which is a somewhat abstract concept to grasp, but here he is being quite literal and definite. THIS is how God came, he is telling us, through these people, generation after generation.

The list is fascinating and important for a ton of reasons, but I will resist writing a dissertation on my blog today. Instead, let’s just focus on the dubiousness of this list.

Matthew does something unheard of for his time and place in history. He dares to include four WOMEN (gasp) on his list. Not only did he include their names in the middle of a patriarchal society, but two of the women he mentions had interesting sex lives (Tamar had sex with her father-in-law, and Rahab was a prostitute), one an adulterer (Bathsheba was married to Uriah when King David saw her bathing on a roof and had an affair with her), one worked for a living (Ruth) and one who would become the most famous teenage mother in history (Mary). And it gets worse because two were foreigners, one was married to a Hittite (Canaanites, Moabites and Hittites, oh my…) and one claimed to be a pregnant virgin.

These are the women Jesus comes from. These are the women God included in His plan to come get us. A questionable group, to say the least, and I think it would be awesome to see them all in a front lawn manger scene.

Why did Matthew do this? Well, scholars have debated the reasons for centuries, and it is interesting to note that many greater and more virtuous women could have appeared on this list, but don’t.

For me, it is simply one way that God is beginning to clear up our misconceptions about Him through Christmas (remember His reasons for coming?). God is gracious. God is inclusive. God longs to fix broken things. God wants to prove that seemingly shameful and ugly things can be used for good - they can be REDEEMED. No matter what has happened, no matter what you have done, you are not outside the reach or heart of God.

Questions (quickly, since you’ve almost gotten fired for reading this novel while at work): Did you know that Jesus had such questionable relatives? What does that tell you about God and how He came? Have you ever felt outside the reach of God? Aren’t you glad these names didn’t appear in your 7th grade spelling bee?
‘Til the morrow.

DAY TWO: Boils at Christmas?

In order to really understand Christmas, we need to get some perspective. This may prove a little intense, so stick with me, ok?

I have mentioned plenty of times that I believe that humankind is somehow messed up. We only have to read incredulous stories of rape in Darfur, study the Holocaust outlined in our history books, and contemplate the reality that children are trafficked as sex slaves for profit.

Sometimes, when I’m tempted to feel morally superior, I ask God what it is inside us all that make us capable of such atrocities.

I’m not sure if you watched the finale of Survivor. I am fascinated by what happens to people when they are hungry, sleep deprived and isolated. This season, however, I was left speechless when a young woman named Corrine verbally attacked another woman named Sugar. It was so dark and sad and mean. I sat there wondering, “What is wrong with us?”

As crazy as this seems, I want us to start our journey in the Old Testament book of Job (pronounced with a long o). Most everybody has heard of Job – the guy that suffered BIG TIME. In short, here’s what happens:

Job is a blameless and upright guy. He has a large family and a lot of wealth. Okay so far, right? Then the Bible says this: 6 One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. 7 The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?"
Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."

Now, to me, this is a fascinating exchange. It’s almost as if Satan tags along with the angels on a whim to see God and then he and God have this strange conversation. And isn’t interesting that an all-knowing God asks Satan about His whereabouts? It gets worse:

8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

9 "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. 10 "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 11 But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."

12 The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger." Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.

You guessed it. TERRIBLE things happen to Job, including the deaths of his children, the collapse of his wealth and the ruin of his property. He even ends up covered in boils, writhing in pain.

Almost every sermon or teaching I have ever heard about the book of Job has been about suffering. While I admit that Job suffers, I no longer think that is the point of this strange and fascinating book. Our first clue comes in Satan’s question to God when he asks, “Does Job fear God for nothing? Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has?”

Satan is accusing God of being naïve. He is claiming that Job only loves God because God has been good to him and blessed him. Basically, Satan is asserting that humankind believes in and loves God because it’s in our best interest to do so. We cling to, pray to, sing about, and love Him because we think He will give us good things in return (or, conversely, will withhold His wrath). Hmmmm…

And, to take it one step further, our belief in God has the potential to modify behavior and prevent chaos as well, right? People, striving to please God, are less likely to rape women, gas Jews and sell children, right? Then we remember the crusades and Spanish Inquisition…

The book of Job is a clear example of how distorted things have become. God intended to be in close relationship with humankind. Ever wonder why it’s hard to feel Him or want to hear His voice, but can’t? It wasn’t meant to be like this at all. God had something altogether different in mind.

Ah, well, God wanted to fix it. Not only did He want us to stop thinking that He is a “what can you do for me god” but He longed for us to realize that relationship with Him is not primarily about behavior modification. He wants to restore His ideal, to close the gap that has formed between us and Him, to reconcile the broken relationship – behaviors are changed only after things are made right. He knows our whereabouts, but He wanted to ask us if we recognize how far away from Him we are. He wanted to show us the path to an alternative reality that we have lost the ability to see.

So, HE DECIDED TO COME AND GET US.

We sing, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.” The name, Emmanuel, means “God with us.” Cool, huh?

Questions for today: Can you think of things you have done that reveal a darkness within you? When you try to talk to God, does it feel like a speech or a conversation? What is your reality and how does God fit in (or not)? If you call yourself a believer, why do you believe? Is your faith based on a God who will bless and protect you?

This post is already crazy long, but no one said it better than Philip Yancey in his book The Jesus I Never Knew. If I haven’t lost you, read this:

I learned a lot about incarnation when I kept a salt-water aquarium. Management of a marine aquarium, I discovered, is no easy task. I had to run a portable chemical laboratory to monitor the nitrate levels and the ammonia content. I pumped in vitamins and antibiotics and sulfa drugs and enough enzymes to make a rock grow. I filtered the water through glass fibres and charcoal, and exposed it to ultraviolet light. You would think, in view of all the energy expended on their behalf, that my fish would be at least grateful. Not so. Every time my shadow loomed above the tank they dove for cover into the nearest shell. They showed me one "emotion" only: fear. Although I opened the lid and dropped food on a regular schedule, three times a day, they responded to each visit as a sure sign of my designs to torture them. I could not convince them of my true concern.

To my fish I was a deity. I was too large for them, my actions were too incomprehensible. My acts of mercy they saw as cruelty; my attempts at healing they viewed as destruction. To change their perceptions, I began to see, would require a form of incarnation. I would have to become a fish and "speak" to them in a language they could understand.

Yeah, I'm setting you up. See you tomorrow.

The Doghouse

An old friend sent me this link: http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5e32d548

Definitely worth a look.

DAY ONE: An understood Christmas

We’ve talked on this blog so many times about how radical the Gospel is. And we have discussed how its revolutionary nature is quite often ignored, even by those who claim to live by it. Or, perhaps, I should be more generous and say that the core of the Gospel is simply misunderstood (I have been in a great discussion on another blog about GENEROSITY). In my little opinion, there is no other time of year when this contradiction is more in-your-face than Christmas.

I thought it might be interesting, from now until Christmas Day, to try and understand Christmas in a Gospel sort of way. This idea may not excite all of you, so I’ll see you December 26, but until then, let’s pick apart Christmas.

You will not likely read any catchy little phrases like “Keep Christ in Christmas” or “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” here, so consider yourself warned. As cliché as Christmas has become, it certainly wasn’t so when God chose to be hemmed in by skin.

So, tomorrow we will jump into who begat who, or maybe we’ll investigate what transpired before, kind of like reading the prologue to Christmas.

I fully recognize that many of the people who read this blog are not even sure that God is real, let alone whether Jesus was the man-form of this doubtable God. If you know me in person, you know that I have no notion whatsoever that it’s my job to convince or persuade anyone of anything. God doesn’t need me to defend Him. As always, I will tell you the story of God as I have learned to understand it – through Scripture, experience, tradition and reason. You may take it or you may leave it. Either response can be found in the Gospels, too.

Are you in?

Friday Chews

Seemingly unconnected, yet undigested. Chew away.



The mature man lives quietly, does good privately, assumes personal responsibility for his actions, treats other with friendliness and courtesy, finds mischief boring and keeps out of it. Without this hidden conspiracy of good will, society would not endure an hour.

— Kenneth Rexroth

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Johnny Cash, Man in Black

“I’m going to the fourth world. It’s sort of like heaven; only better, because there aren’t any Christians.”

Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme in Heavenly Creatures

“I believe the world is telling Christians today, ‘I close my ears to your advice, but I open my eyes to your example.’ This young generation is crying out, ‘Show me, show me.’”

Brother Paul Holderfield in 1974

click here for a little something Advent extra.

Who needs who?

I know this is Friday Chews Day. I will post some later. After the discussion in the comments section of The truth is in the middle on Wednesday, I felt the need to reflect on a few things.

When I was in Phoenix in July, I met a great guy named Curt. One afternoon, he sat and told me about a man named Brother Paul who had a tremendous influence on his life. I actually welled up as Curt lovingly spoke of this beautiful man and his mission center in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Curt gave me a few small books that Brother Paul wrote before his death, and I have looked at them over and over since receiving them. One of the most profound questions that Brother Paul asks is, “Who needs who?”

In short, he quite remarkably points out that Jesus commands us to feed the hungry, but He doesn’t command the hungry to eat. He commands us to clothe the naked, but He doesn’t command the naked to wear the clothing. He commands us to visit the sick, but He does not say the sick should appreciate it.

It may behoove us to take a deep breath, examine our pride, and ask, “Who needs who?”

Seeing it this way helps us uncover our own hunger and nakedness and guilt. People are not our projects, they are our relatives. And there must be a reason we are asked to do these things for “the least of these,” right?

Our connectedness to all of humankind is incredibly codependent. Those of us who do not live in need (at least not physical needs) are being humbled and changed and opened as we obey Jesus’ words. And those who are indigent are having their physical needs met. In God’s kingdom, people do not go hungry and they do not ignore each other's needs.

One of the best quotes I read this week was simply this, “When we truly discover love, capitalism will not be possible and Marxism will not be necessary. --Will O'Brien
Of course, it was only trumped by Brother Paul’s, “Who needs who?”

Want to be different? Want to see God? L-O-V-E someone.

(Matt 25) 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Let God worry about whether people deserve it or not. Frankly, you need them. Are you deserving?

Mischief Night

Here’s a true tale for review:

I received a message last week on Facebook. It was from a guy I went to High School with.

Apparently, in or around 1984, I knew the identity of some kids who threw eggs at his garage on Mischief Night. He told me, in his note, that when He questioned me on the school bus about it, I refused to tell who did it, although I wasn’t directly involved in the actual incident. He is still angry with me and perceives me to be insensitive to the embarrassment that he felt all those years ago.

Now, if I am truthful, I have no recollection of that bus conversation or the mischief of that Mischief Night at all. I felt really bad about the message though, for lots of reasons. I wondered if I was insensitive to his pain back then, the obvious humiliation he felt. I was sad that he still remembered and harbored it all – in detail. I longed to defend myself, but simply apologized instead. Many of these mixed feelings haven’t gone away.

There is one thing I have learned from the message. Everything I do and say has impact on someone else. It’s best to do and say carefully.

The truth is in the middle

When I was younger, still in school, I can remember that there was a difference between Catholic and Christian. If you asked someone if they were a Christian, he/she would say, “No, I’m Catholic.” I always found this intriguing, because I never said, “I’m a Protestant” unless I was asked if I was Catholic. It’s sort of funny now.

I never practiced Catholicism, but I have beautiful friends who do. At different times, when I have been to a Catholic mass, I have loved the liturgy and language and ritual. I marvel when my friends who grew up Catholic say that they hated it as a kid, and yet I can feel a little cynical about my Protestant sub-culture at times too.

I had the most interesting conversation with a Catholic friend last week. She was explaining how she understood her faith as a kid. She said:

“I kind of thought that if I did something bad, I could go into confession, get it all off my chest, and then leave and do what I wanted. There was always another chance to confess, so that made living pretty easy.”

I was the opposite. My juvenile understanding was that if I told a white lie, and then got hit by a bus, I was headed to hell.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that both misconceptions included that our faith was based on what we did? One of us thought that what she did didn’t matter, and one of us thought that what she did was all that mattered.

I used to have a professor in college who loved to say, “The truth is in the middle, Wendy” because I tended toward extremes. I think he may be right this time.

It says in Ephesians 2, “8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

What the Apostle Paul is essentially telling us is that good works are not the means of our salvation, but the necessary evidence of it. Thus, besides Christ, Christians (Catholics and Protestants) should be the best thing that ever happened to this world. Not only should we be the most gracious people – when you consider the grace that has been lavished on us (salvation) how could we be otherwise? - but we should be the greatest force for good on earth, because we are quite literally the proof of Him and what He can do. We should be right smack dab in the middle of it all, being and doing good.

A three letter word

Yesterday, I mentioned sin. This three letter word bothered a few of you. Please know that I always appreciate your emails and feedback. You must expect by now, however, that I will respond on the blog. I think it makes for fertile conversation and deeper thinking.

There are two words used in Scripture that I wonder if we sometimes think mean the same thing. The two words are TRANGRESSIONS and SIN. For those of you who are bothered by the idea of sin (or my use of it) I think the two words are worth exploring.

Transgression, when translated properly, means to cross the line. Think of it as an unkind word or harmful behavior done on purpose. Transgressors are rebels – those who stand with their toes on the line, contemplate the wrongness of a thing, and step over anyway.

Sin, when understood rightly, means to miss the mark. Instead of rebel, think failure.

Quite frankly, I have no trouble at all seeing myself, and all of humankind, in both of these scenarios. One only has to look at the world – watch the news, go to a PTA meeting, think about Darfur, stand where the Twin Towers used to be, take too long in the grocery store line – to realize that there is something very wrong with us. Something inside of us is either broken or missing because we are capable of awful things.

Here’s the thing. It is correct to assume that God cannot tolerate transgressions and sin. But let me ask you this – would you want a God who could?

It’s getting close to Christmas. I am always intrigued by how much we love Christmas and how nice we are to each other during the yuletide. We love Christmas because people seem to be kinder, to be giving, and we sing about joy and peace and hope. We want all those things, we wish it would never end, and we regret when the season is over, don’t we?

If God tolerated sin and transgression, we would not have the hope of joy and peace and unity. Rebellion and failure would make a forever Christmas impossible – or if you will – they would make it impossible to enter into the kingdom that God has established. It’s a kingdom MADE OF love and peace and unity and healthy relationship, rebellion and failure have no place in it.

Ah, but here’s another thought. I don’t think sin, or the reality of it, is what you are really struggling with. What I suspect the real issue is, is how the church has taught about how God deals with sin and transgression.

Hear me. God wants to LOVE us out of our ways, that’s why He extends His grace. Grace is the offering of powerful and healing love - God's favor - to the undeserving. He longs to make the world so safe that you and I are liberated from our pride and fears – and secure enough to change.

Funny, how a three letter word got as much reaction from skeptics as a four letter word (ok, it was really 8 letters: b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t) got from believers last week (again, thanks for your feedback). Maybe we all have a lot to think through.

Starting with God

If I were to identify the single issue that I hear from struggling believers (or those who are tempted to believe or are curious – you get the idea) is that we do not start with God. The craziest part is that we do not know it.

We tend to understand God from our own point of view – through the goggles of our own experiences and preconceptions. Sometimes we see Him through the church (which can be both a blessing and a curse). Sometimes we see Him through sickness or loneliness or even success.

Couple of examples:

Our fathers have/had a lot to do with how we feel about God. If our fathers were absent or harsh or loving or lenient or busy, we often see God in a similar way. But if we START WITH GOD, we discover in Exodus 34:6, “"The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness…” He is by nature gracious. This grace is not selective or arbitrary – it is the essence of Him. He is slow to anger, full to overflowing with love, and always faithful. How is this different from your Dad? To see the truth, START WITH GOD and work your way to other people.

Our childhood church has a lot to do with how we feel about God. Was it formal and stuffy? Were the members “separatists” and did not engage the world around them? Was it full of hypocritical people? Was it warm and loving? Did the members hold long term grudges against one another? If we START WITH GOD, we realize in Ephesians 5:25, “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” God and the Church are separate entities, and He recognizes her imperfections – that’s why He is longing to remove her stains and wrinkles. The Church does not always represent the heart of God, but He longs for her to and has the power to make it a reality. To see the truth, START WITH GOD and work through your ideas about the church.

Our circumstances have a lot to do with how we feel about God. I read an intriguing article last week about how the current economic crisis is God’s punishment of a self-centered America, and how a famine is coming. Our self-centeredness aside, I thought to myself, since when is our perception of God shaped by economics? Perhaps you suffer with an illness – is God unfair? Maybe your marriage has gone bad – is God unloving? Perhaps everything is perfect – does God arbitrarily bless you and not others? If we START WITH GOD, we learn in Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” This truth does not mean that He is immovable or distant, it means that the essence of Him remains the same whether it’s the Reagan Administration of the Obama Administration.

Lastly, our own choices have a lot to do with how we feel about God. I think people who have screwed up a lot tend to live with a lot of unnecessary weight (myself included). We remember the relationships we’ve ruined, the bridges we’ve burned, the stupid things we’ve said, the times we have fallen short of God’s ideal. It’s called sin. When we find ourselves unable to escape these moments, we live unforgiven – which is a miserable way to live – sad, troubled, paranoid. BUT IF WE START WITH GOD, we are liberated by 1 John 1:5, “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.” It is so important to understand that if we confess who we have been and who we are to God, it is in His very nature to forgive us. In Him there is no darkness at all, He WILL NOT VIOLATE HIS HOLY NATURE. In other words, no matter what others say and no matter what you tend to tell yourself, you are forgiven. God is not withholding. To see the truth about yourself, and to start living forgiven (!), START WITH GOD. See yourself in light of Him. Not the other way around.

Friday Chews

Our chew items this week come from a variety of sources and interesting people...Nietzsche, Placher, Planned Parenthood and, uh, Baltimore.

Enjoy. Feel free to tell me how you feel about any or all.

1. But what if pleasure and displeasure were so tied together that whoever wanted to have as much as possible of one must have as much as possible of the other — that whoever wanted to learn to “jubilate up to the heavens” would also have to be prepared for “depression unto death”?

Friedrich Nietzsche

2. A network of 93 sensors has been mounted on streetlights and buildings in the neighborhood and can distinguish gunshots from fireworks and car backfires and immediately give police precise locations where guns have been discharged.

Police Chief of Baltimore

3. Planned Parenthood is offering GIFT CERTIFICATES for purchase this Christmas. Here's the video from CNN.com.

4. We human persons are always failing to be fully personal. As persons, we are shaped by our relations with other persons. Yet we always deliberately raise barriers or cannot figure out how to overcome the barriers we confront. When those we most love come to die, or in the dementia of old age are no longer able understand what we may most want to say to them, we realize how much there was in our hearts that we never shared with them. When we best articulate our ideas, we cannot escape the feeling that there was something there we never quite captured. When we most rejoice in sharing with someone different from ourselves, difference nevertheless scares us. The doctrine of the Trinity, however, proclaims that true personhood, however impossible its character may be for us to imagine, involves acknowledging real difference in a way that causes not fear but joy.

William Placher, theologian, who recently died. RIP.

A reason to doubt

If you are a Christian, I have a question for you. It is not a hard question, it is not unanswerable, but it may be a little heartbreaking to answer.

Have you ever given someone a reason to doubt?

I have a great little book entitled, On Bullshit, by Harry G. Frankfurt. His blatant use of French aside, Henry has written the most interesting paper – now in book form. Here’s an excerpt:

One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this. Each of us contributes his share. But we tend to take the situation for granted. Most people are rather confident of their ability to recognize bullshit and to avoid being taken in by it. So the phenomenon has not aroused much deliberate concern, nor attracted much sustained inquiry.

In consequence, we have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what function it serves. And we lack a conscientiously developed appreciation of what it means to us.

As Christians, we live in this culture of bullshit. Unfortunately, we contribute to it. I don’t just mean the pastors in the tabloids or those who display airline arrogance – all of us. Here’s the thing though – I think we have misinterpreted our role a little. We have grown to think that if we tell the truth about our lives – our inner thinking, our failures, our own moments of uncertainty – then we are causing others to doubt. The exact opposite is really true. I have discovered that when I am honest about my journey, both the best and worst parts of it, my experience rings true for others. No one believes my bullshit anyway.

But far more important, I need to remember that I must always start with God and work my way to humankind. If I try to discern the truth of God using my own perceptions and experiences as a foundation, I will end up with a distorted understanding of Who He is and how He operates (and, thus, add to the bullshit). Instead, I must always understand Who God is first, and then see myself in light of Him – not the other way around. More about this idea next Monday.

Harry finishes like this:

The contemporary proliferation of bullshit also has deeper sources, in various forms of skepticism which deny that we can have any reliable access to an objective reality, and which therefore reject the possibility of knowing how things truly are. These “antirealist” doctrines undermine confidence in the value of disinterested efforts to determine what is true and what is false, and even in the intelligibility of the notion of objective inquiry. One response to this loss of confidence has been a retreat from the discipline required by dedication to the ideal of correctness to a quite different sort of discipline, which is imposed by pursuit of an alternative ideal of sincerity. Rather than seeking primarily to arrive at accurate representations of a common world, the individual turns toward trying to provide honest representations of himself. Convinced that reality has no inherent nature, which he might hope to identify as the truth about things, he devotes himself to being true to his own nature. It is as though he decides that since it makes no sense to try to be true to the facts, he must therefore try instead to be true to himself.

But it is preposterous to imagine that we ourselves are determinate, and hence susceptible both to correct and to incorrect descriptions, while supposing that the ascription of determinacy to anything else has been exposed as a mistake. As conscious beings, we exist only in response to other things, and we cannot know ourselves at all without knowing them. Moreover, there is nothing in theory, and certainly nothing in experience, to support the extraordinary judgment that it is the truth about himself that is the easiest for a person to know. Facts about ourselves are not particularly solid and resistant to skeptical dissolution. Our natures are, indeed, elusively insubstantial – notoriously less stable and less inherent than the natures of other things. And insofar as this is the case, sincerity itself is bullshit.

A lyrical moment

On Sunday, I sang a song in church that I have sung before – many times, in fact. Isn’t it interesting how a lyric can jump out at you in a brand new way? For me, it was a phrase in the middle of a song entitled, “Knowing You.” Normally, I find the song a little sappy (it’s that line “You’re the best” that seems too Hallmark to me), but this week as the song was cruising along, I had a moment as I was singing. The phrase that grabbed my attention was:

Oh, to know the power of Your risen life.

Now, technically, Jesus’ risen life was only 40 days here on earth and the rest He is spending “at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” (Romans 8:34) Yet, even though the phrasing is strange, he really means: Oh, to know the power of Your resurrection, because writer Graham Kendrick (guy in pic) based the lyrics on a passage from the book of Philippians that spells it out clearly (see Phil. 3:7-11).

My mind often wanders to strange places, but here is what I remembered in that singing moment. When I was 8 months pregnant with Mia, my doctor discovered a lump in my right breast. I needed a biopsy before she was born, and a surgeon named Dr. Cozzarelli performed it for me. He clearly understood the anxiety associated with the situation – my belly as large as it could possibly be – and the thought of having cancer and a newborn…

While he operated, Dr. Cozzarelli began to talk to me. Having no idea what I thought about God, he started witnessing to me – or at the very least – he was being honest and frank about his faith in order to comfort me. Even though I clearly know how I feel about God, and the lump was benign, the doctor’s words have never left me. He said, “You know what it was for me? How I knew there was a God? Well, if you take all the finest scientists in the world, give them unlimited resources and put them in a fully-equipped laboratory together without limitations, they still cannot produce life. Not a single spark. Try as we may, try as we might, it is beyond our ability to do. There has to be something more.”

That is a very modern argument, but I can conversely experience the truth of it. God is The Man. Just imagine what had to transpire to make a dead man a living one once again. And not just a dead man – a dead for three days man.

The unfathomable ingenuity, brilliance and RAW POWER that God used to raise Jesus from the dead are all available to heal my life. It’s kind of thrilling and scary all at once. God longs to offer me strength of that magnitude.

How does this healing take place? Well, knowing the power of His resurrection is enough to humble my pride and calm my fears, the very two things that keep me from really living.

He is bringing me back from the dead.

Pray it back

In 2000, a movie called Pay It Forward was in theatres. It starred Kevin Spacey as a teacher who gave a boy (Haley Joel Osment) a chance to change the world with an assignment. The basic idea was that instead of paying someone back for a kind deed, people should pay it forward and do something kind for someone else. It is a very cool movie, and if you’ve never seen it, it is definitely worth a rental.

Yesterday, someone commented about the concept of embracing failure, and I thought the idea merits further exploration. So, let’s explore.

I suspect that we absorbed an interesting misconception somewhere along the way that Christians are supposed to be always happy. It’s that tricky word JOY that the Apostle Paul seems to repeat a lot that trips us up, I think. In fact, the Bible is FULL of mourning, or grief, of pain, of consequences – and so are our lives. No use pretending, although Sunday mornings seem to be a Petri dish for pretending, don’t they?

Our lives are full of failure. We fail in relationships, we fail expectations, we fail God. Many times, we deal with this failure improperly. We hide it. We stuff it. We somehow twist it into success as we tell others. We wallow in it. We blame.

The other option is to EMBRACE it. It’s a funny little exercise that requires vulnerability and truth-telling. It also requires confession and apology. But here’s the thing – the psalms are full of failure – but the authors didn’t get stuck in it – no, they chose to PRAY IT BACK. Admitting mistakes and inadequacies does wonders for our pride problems, but if we choose to hold on to them, they turn into fear. Instead, we need to embrace our failure, and then give it back to God to redeem. Example:

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.

Although this may seem a little extreme, in truth it’s not. David, who wrote this psalm, admits his failure, admits his panic, admits his inability to fix his mess, and prays it back. He continues the psalm (it’s #69, by the way, if you want to check out the whole thing) this way:

29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Somehow, the embracing of his failure, and the decision to pray it back to the God of his salvation, leads David to a place of praise and thanksgiving. A place of joy.

Failure happens. Embrace it, pray it back, and move forward.

La Ratatouille Extraordinaire

On Saturday, I got up early intending to have some time to myself. I usually read if I have a spare moment, but I just finished “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” by Junot Diaz, which won the Pulitzer Prize for Literature last year. It requires some process time after reading, so I didn’t plunge into my next book (which will be “The Grace That Keeps the World” by the way). Instead, I decided to find a movie on TV. It is true that I never have control of the remote, and it is also true that no one else in my home likes the kind of movies that I do (sub-titles make them all groan), so I started flipping through the on-screen Menu looking for MY choice.

Before my selection was even made, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Soon, Mia was snuggled up beside me on the couch, watching the choices click by and saying, “Oh, Mom, Ratatouille is on! Can we watch that?” Of course we can.

If you’ve never seen Disney’s Ratatouille, you truly are missing something. I have no doubt it produces different responses in different people, but every time I watch it, I want to COOK! Just in case, you didn’t understand, I mean COOK! – as in, exotic and gourmet (which I have absolutely no training for at all). Food, however, is such a creative medium.

When the movie was over, Steve and the boys were still asleep, so I moved to the kitchen to begin. Not exactly prepared with fresh ingredients, I ended up with Cinnamon Banana Waffles, covered in powdered sugar and real whipped cream (it was the best I could do considering all I really had on hand was leftover turkey). I carefully cut fresh banana slices to garnish the top, Mia called out, “Breakfast!” and the house started to stir.

The men dragged in, took one look at my masterpiece, and wanted to know if they could just have plain old waffles like they are used to. And where was the syrup? Apparently, there is only one way to eat waffles and, especially during holiday vacation times, you can only eat things that are familiar and understood.

In about a millisecond, I had a wide-range of thoughts and emotions. I went from “I should have made turkey waffles” to “cook your own breakfast next time” to “haven’t you ever seen Ratatouille?” to “I get the remote control for the whole day” to “my whole life is terrible because it lacks adventure.” This was all before 9:00 a.m.

Regardless of the fact that my family behaved badly, there’s a lot of tension between Ratatouille and real life. Movies that depict dreams coming true against all odds can lead us to believe that the everyday parts of our lives are somehow less or unsatisfying. And yet, it is in the faithfulness of everyday that the extraordinary really happens.

Great chefs create great food by ongoing experimentation and years of training (and lots of failure). Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Junot Diaz has horrific stories of the rejection of his earlier works (lots of failure). And I think people who walk closely with God realize that the discipline of everyday faith, and the embracing of lots of failure, are just as important as any epiphany or spiritual high…maybe even more so, for out of these moments the extraordinary reality of lasting CHANGE happens. Even if the way it happens isn't always MY choice.

Black Out Friday

I am just getting home from taking my friend, Diana, for an unexpected visit to the Emergency Room. They have decided to keep her. This leukemia is no respecter of holidays.

After a week of sickness in our house, I was up early putting the turkey in, fed 22 people, and naturally got caught in the Eagles traffic on the way home from the hospital.

I'm tired.

I think today may need to be more than Black Friday for me. I think I need Black Out Friday. A nice loooong sleep.

See you Monday.

Time to give thanks

Yesterday, a friend of mine from my kids’ elementary school called me on the phone to check and see how we were all feeling (much better, by the way). As we talked for a couple of minutes, I asked where she was spending Thanksgiving. Her answer was thus: “We are headed to my in-laws, but first we are sharing a turkey with the homeless. I heard about a shelter that was asking people to cook a turkey and bring it to share. So, I cashed in a free turkey coupon I had, and we are going over there to serve and eat early in the day.”

I told her how thrilled I was that they were making this choice and she said, “Well, I read your blog.”

Thank you so much. I welled up with tears after we hung up. It may have been because I am exhausted after a vomit filled week, but I don’t think so because I am welling up now.

You know how we all walk around telling each other what we are thankful for? We thank God for good health and for families and for jobs and the list goes on. We join “Thankful” groups on Facebook and create updates intended to praise God for His goodness.

Well, this year (and I don’t just mean today) instead of just being thankful, what if we started doing thankful?

I wonder how many churches had Thanksgiving eve services last night and people were asked to stand up and express what they are thankful for. Not a bad thing, but what if we did thankful instead of said thankful? Sort of like, “God, You have been so good to me. I want to show you how thankful I am by demonstrating Your faithfulness in the world.” Put your turkey where your mouth is and be the answer to someone’s prayer.

Assigns all new meaning to “give thanks,” doesn’t it? It’s time to give thanks.

Promises to Keep

Today, I would like to share this passage from Vice-President elect Joe Biden's memoir, Promises to Keep. It's about the sudden death of his wife, Neilia, and their baby daughter Naomi in a car accident shortly after his election to the Senate in 1992. It is defiantly not an explication of the power of faith, but rather an honest -- and politically risky -- description of what it really felt like:

"They flew us to Wilmington, but I didn't know anything for sure until I got to the hospital. All the way up, I kept telling myself that everything was going to be okay, that I was letting my imagination run away with me, but the minute I got to the hospital and saw Jimmy's face, I knew the worst had happened. Beau, Hunt and Naomi had been in the car with Neilia when the accident happened. Neilia had been killed and so had our baby daughter. The boys were both alive, but Beau had a lot of broken bones and Hunt had injuries. The doctors couldn't rule out permanent damage. I could not speak, only felt this hollow core grow in my chest, like I was gong to be sucked inside a black hole.

The first few days I felt trapped in a constant twilight of vertigo, like in the dream where you're suddenly falling...only I was constantly falling. In moments of fitful sleep I was aware of the dim possibility that I would wake up, truly wake up, and this would not have happened. But then I'd open my eyes to the sight of my sons in their hospital beds -Beau in a full body cast--and it was back. And as consciousness gathered again, I could always feel at least one other physical present in the room--and there would be Val, or my mom, or Jimmy. They never left my side. I have no memory of ever being physically alone.

Most of all I was numb, but there were moments when the pain cut through like a shard of broken class. I began to understand how despair led people to just cash it in; how suicide wasn't just an option but a rational option. But I'd look at Beau and Hunter asleep and wonder what new terrors their own dreams held, and wonder who would explain to my sons my being gone, too. And I knew I had no choice but to fight to stay alive.

Except for the memorial service, I stayed in the hospital room with my sons. My life collapsed into their needs. If I could focus on what they needed minute by minute, I thought I might stay out of the black hole. My future was telescoped into the effort of putting one foot in front of the other. The horizon faded from my view. Washington, politics, the Senate had no hold on me. I was supposed to be sworn into the Senate in two weeks, but I could not bear to image the scene without Neilia....

There was good news: The doctors assured us that Beau and Hunter would make full recoveries. Beau's bones would mend. Hunter had no brain impairment. But Christmas passed with the boys in the hospital, and I began to feel my anger. When the boys were asleep or when Val or Mom was taking a turn at their bedside, I'd bust out of the hospital and go walking the nearby streets. Jimmy would go with me, and I'd steer him wordlessly down into the darkest and seediest neighborhoods I could find. I liked to go at night when I thought there was a better chance of finding a fight. I was always looking for a fight. I had not known I was capable of such rage. I knew I had been cheated out of a future, but I felt I'd been cheated of a past, too.

The underpinnings of my life had been kicked out from under me...and it wasn't just the loss of Neilia and Naomi. All my life, I'd been taught about our benevolent God. This is a forgiving God who is tolerant. This is a God who gave us free will to be able to doubt. This was a loving God, a God of comfort. Well, I didn't want to hear anything about a merciful God. No words, no prayer, no sermon gave me ease. I felt God had played a horrible trick on me, and I was angry. I found no comfort in the Church. So I kept walking the dark streets to try to exhaust the rage."

What I admire about this excerpt, is the raw honesty about a struggle with faith. Senator Biden’s faith did return, stronger than before, but his frank language about what God felt like in the midst of his tragedy actually refreshes me.

Psalmists and saints have felt the same. If we are daring enough to tell the truth, so have we. Perhaps we have not experienced the anger, but instead our faith has weathered (or is weathering) apathy or fear or foolishness or confusion or paralyzing doubt… Just last week, I was asking God why He refuses to close the gap more (the need for a "physical presence" Biden refers to), why He chooses to stay tangibly hidden. I know the theological answer (sin has separated us, over the generations) but the emotional question, “God where are You and what are You doing?” often outweighs what I know in my head.

Yet my faith exists. Sometimes like a raging river, sometimes like the last ember in the fire before it goes out. I guess this Thanksgiving I am thankful that I have promises to keep, and so does He.

WARNING! Do not read just before your Thanksgiving meal

The Melchior’s have the stomach flu. Well, the MALE Melchior’s do, and here’s the sordid tale:

At about 12:30 am early Monday morning, Steve started to feel a sense of unease in his stomach. Approximately 2 minutes after waking me to make me aware of his distress, another set of hurried footsteps were heard in the hall – footsteps that weren’t fast enough. Noah, whose room is closest to the bathroom, was so overwhelmed that he threw up in the hall and all over the bathroom floor. This particular turn of events was all Steve needed to ignite his pending issues, and since both could not crowd around the toilet at once, my husband grabbed the trash can.

The first violent dual episode lasted about 7 minutes, after which both Steve and Noah were too sick to do anything but climb back into bed (both in the bed that I happen to sleep in) so I was left to deal with the hall and bathroom.

As I scrubbed without gagging, I was reminded of the amazing constitution that God gave mothers. It’s amazing what we can do, and most of us would have never guessed it before our children were born.

Of course, after the time it took me to clean the walls, the vanity and the floors (not to mention the unlucky pile of clothes Noah had dropped and left outside the shower earlier in the day) I was just in time to witness Round 2. The retching and scrubbing episodes continued until about 5:30 am, at which time I sat down into a chair next to my bed (my side still occupied by my son) and patted his back in hopes that he would sleep.

Noah continued to get sick until 8:30 am, just as Steve began to experience a shivering fever and body aches and I was getting my other children on the school bus. Noah’s fever quickly followed, and at 10:15 am, the school nurse called to say that J.J. wasn’t feeling well. I was far from “public-ready” (the smell alone…) but I jumped in the car quickly in hopes of saving J.J. the embarrassment of school vomit.

To add to our collective pain, Mia’s 9th birthday party was scheduled for Tuesday, so I spent the early evening calling her girlfriends to cancel as I listened to my daughter wail in her bedroom. As I got off the phone, I put a few more dollars in her future therapy fund jar and climbed onto her bed to hug her until the sobbing slowed.

You know, I’m sure our drama would make a great illustration – something like how God never gags as He cleans up our messes (I’m actually not sure how theologically sound that is because He does mention that “spewing out of His mouth” business – Rev. 3:16) or how He never sleeps nor slumbers in our distress or the classic truth that He wraps His arms around His children as they mourn – but frankly, my brain can’t put it all together right now.

Besides, I’m feeling a little uneasy in my stomach.