The other day I was considering how I have been in a two year grieving process. I have experienced so many endings, including the loss of my friend, and sometimes I have felt as though I must have used up all my beginnings.
I talked to God about it, and He brought to my mind all the things that have been born in me over these months – new things born in my heart and mind.
For instance, my time in the ministry ended, but my understanding of the Church could not be more fresh or honest. Some dear, dear friends have gone away, but my appreciation for real community is sharper and more clear since. Diana has died, but her generosity of spirit continues to remind me who it is I am made to be. All of these endings have made new spaces in my life – spaces that I have no doubt God has plans for.
Letting things die in order for the new to be born often takes blood, sweat and tears – but it is the way of Christ. Death and new life. Out with the old, in with the new. It’s narrow stuff.
I will consider today how dying is spacious and how intangible the new can be.
And how much, in the end, I am loved.
I talked to God about it, and He brought to my mind all the things that have been born in me over these months – new things born in my heart and mind.
For instance, my time in the ministry ended, but my understanding of the Church could not be more fresh or honest. Some dear, dear friends have gone away, but my appreciation for real community is sharper and more clear since. Diana has died, but her generosity of spirit continues to remind me who it is I am made to be. All of these endings have made new spaces in my life – spaces that I have no doubt God has plans for.
Letting things die in order for the new to be born often takes blood, sweat and tears – but it is the way of Christ. Death and new life. Out with the old, in with the new. It’s narrow stuff.
I will consider today how dying is spacious and how intangible the new can be.
And how much, in the end, I am loved.
1 comment:
Thanks for giving me a glimpse of the hope that seems to have died along with our church. It has been a sad couple of months for us, sad to watch good people be abused in the name of a dubious 'truth' and sad to realize that God sometimes allows the 'bad guys' to win. I guess I need to realize that it truly is his will, that He allowed the dying to take place. May we soon see the new life that we know he has in store for us.
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