Dancing with disappointment

So, Noah is going to his first school formal on Friday night – a Valentine’s Dance. We went shopping last night for the perfect duds, and a teddy bear for the girl. He looked so handsome – even in the dressing room! Then we laughed as we realized that since Dad is in Palm Springs, we would have to have Grandpa come over to tie his tie!!

Before the shopping spree, JJ and I had a dentist appointment. The hygienist talked while she worked on my teeth, telling me that her 20something daughter has “strayed away” from the church. I listened to her pain, but several of her statements gave me questions. For instance, she said, “My daughter is proof that you can do everything right and your children can still disappoint you.”

I had her comments ringing in my ears as I laughed with my son in the department store. He is such a great kid, even though I have not done everything right – hardly anything, really. Noah recently told me that he loves his French teacher because she is “crazy, different, and perfectly nuts – just like you, Mom.” He will no doubt need therapy.

Perhaps instead of focusing on how our children disappoint us, it may be a good idea to acknowledge how we disappoint them.

Sometimes, while I listen to my children tell me a story, I am praying inside my mind for them. I ask God to put a hedge of protection around them and I pray against any evil that would seek to swallow them up. But then I ask God to give them courage and patience and integrity and stamina and kindness and compassion and honesty and … but often He reminds me:

“Wendy, I gave them you.” I’ve been charged with teaching them so much, not the least of which is how to tie a tie.

Help me, God, to consistently be the things I long for my children to consistently be. Give me the humility to ask for their forgiveness when I do disappointing things and the grace to forgive their mistakes. The rest I will trust to You.

Oh, and when Noah gives this girl the bear at the dance, could You prevent her from kissing him despite how irresistibly handsome and charming he is? It’s a little too soon, don’t You think?