Moving toward loveliness

A couple of posts ago, I so appreciated the honesty that Todd shared in his comment. Here’s what he wrote:

I don’t think this is the first time you’ve blogged about 1 Corinthians 13. This is a tough passage because it’s the kind that reminds us just how far from perfection we really are. (Maybe I’m just talking about myself here.) Clearly there is no value in acting out of insincere motives, i.e. we shouldn’t give in order to receive. Anyway, I’m interpreting the passage to mean that love is THE barometer of maturity. If this is true, I’m a little worried because there seems to be a link between love and feelings/motivation/drive. And for me, I frequently have to act out of obedience, not necessarily insincere motives, but not necessarily love either. I’m hoping there’s some love in obedience, but I’m not feeling it.

So, how do we start moving towards genuine love – the kind that requires obedience but is supported by heart feelings and motivation?

I suspect there is a work that God wants to do within us that makes space for His real love. If we are honest, we are filled up with other stuff, aren’t we? Because of the assault/withdrawal that we have either experienced or participated in (see yesterday’s post) we are not functioning all that well, and we find ourselves living from a defensive posture. Defending our perspectives, defending our choices, defending our practices (often this is completely internal) – and as we spend monumental amounts of time ascertaining how we are affected by the world around us – we develop habits to protect our assumptions.

Let’s start with a simple one. Who wants to look good to others? We all do, right? Unfortunately, however, we spend so much time and energy either creating scenarios to improve our standing or expending effort to hide what will make us look bad, that it becomes a way of life. Sometimes, we are so entrenched in the upkeep that we are unaware of the truth that there is another way to live.

There is.

As we abandon defensiveness, pretense begins to vanish from our lives, making room for something genuine – genuine love. Without the constant burden of defending ourselves, we can extend blessing and redemption to others.

Abandoning defensiveness is a group effort – you, me and God. God offers us His Grace, we offer grace to one another, and as I’ve said over a thousand times on this blog, GRACE MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SAFE. SAFE PEOPLE ARE SECURE ENOUGH TO CHANGE AND BE CHANGED.

And here’s where the motivation comes in. As a Christian, I am motivated to be vulnerable first. Knowing fully that I may get hurt or disappointed or ridiculed, I still refuse to become defensive. Why? Well, because since I am a follower of Jesus, I am defined by Him and Him alone. If I live bathed in His grace, there's nothing to defend. I am then motivated to see His kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven, when the world will know the peace, safety, grace and LOVE that comes from knowing Him, and everyone can lay their armor down.

Besides, I’m not really going first. Jesus already paved the defenseless way…