Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ready....set....tea

Last week, I noticed something. Yes, just one thing.

My kids and I were out and about, and I marveled at the number of times my youngest, Mia, is instructed to, “Hurry up.”

When my kids were small, Noah was very good about holding his sister’s hand in parking lots, etc. but would always pull her along saying, “Hurry up!”

When her brothers are playing in the driveway or yard with her, since she is smaller, she is always a step behind. After the crack of the bat you can often hear, “Hurry up!” as she chugs along the bases.

Some evenings, we rush through dinner on our way to a game or practice. Mia likes to bring along books and activities to occupy herself. The rest of us sit in the car while she collects her things yelling, “Hurry up!” even though we only gave her a few scant minutes to get ready to go.

And shower time! She generously volunteers to jump in first as her brothers watch T.V. or something, but then is told to, “Hurry up,” because bedtime is fast approaching.

I was the oldest child in my family, so I was born in a hurry, but Mia is always keeping up.

My littler sister was telling me on Monday about some of the Invisible Children (from Africa) who were brought to the U.S. for educational opportunities. I have not seen the follow-up movie myself yet, but she told me that they talk of how fast paced our lifestyle is, and how they have found themselves becoming frantic to keep up – financially and educationally. Even though they were given “opportunities” when they arrived (subsidized housing, entrance to community college, manual labor jobs, etc) the young men lament their inability to go to school because they are required to work beyond full-time just to support their new life in the U.S. – and that was just rent and groceries!

We need to think about ourselves, don’t we? I suppose arguments against slowing down could be made. Is it our drive that makes us the most innovative nation in the world?

And yet, the benefits of pacing ourselves outweigh the rest. Don’t they?

What are we truly gaining or giving up by maintaining or rejecting our intensity? Is it even practical to ponder slowing down, or would it then be impossible to survive in our culture?
Maybe we could start with afternoon tea...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe we have parallel minds, Wendy! I was just thinking on Monday that I am constantly telling my son "come on, let's go" for just about everything. And I wish I could stop it even just 1/3 of the time. I try to build in extra time too, but it doesnt seem to work.

Todd said...

Ask someone how they’re doing and you’re likely to get the response, “busy.” I think our culture values busy, which is not necessarily hard-working or productive. (How many busy people out there spend hours on facebook or watching tv?)

I do think our drive is what potentially allows us to be fulfilled in a Godly way, and allows us to be a great nation. The trick is to not become addicted to busy, and to continually find a way to experience the joy of this life.

As usual, I have to disagree with you, Wendy. Let’s start with afternoon coffee. Or better yet, a nice glass of wine.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps if you put aside your ambition to be a "famous" pastor (credentials?) and stopped trying to revolutionize the church, you could give your family and friends the attention they truly deserve instead of sitting at the computer trying to find ways to turn their everyday struggles to accomodate you in their lives into a blog that quite frankly should make you feel ashamed to call yourself a Christian. True Christians do not seek out recognition for their actions, yet recognition is what seems to drive you. You talk about a world that is too busy....well, take a good look in the mirror. You seem to have a wonderful family and I will be praying that some day you might stop all of this nonsense and just be happy with what you have.

Wendy Melchior said...

Anon,

I have no idea what has made you so angry, but I will not delete your comment. Suffice it to say, you misunderstand/misinterpret both my heart and my motives and you are probably better off reading other blogs that are more in tune with what you believe. Thanks for your honesty, but since this is my blog, I must insist that this blog community is a kind and compassionate one, one that has a generous enough orthodoxy to treat each other with respect. I know I do not always get everything right, and I am certainly open to accountability, but even accountability is done within the context of love which I am struggling to discern in your comment.

Jared said...

Wendy, your post reminds me of a talk that Mark Yaconelli did this past year at youth specialties. He talked about how one of his sons started the "slow club." The only prerequisite is that you go slow and take in everything around you. It was amazing to hear Mark talk about his few days being in the slow club and how it opened his eyes to the world right in front of him. Good thoughts.

On another note, as someone who knows you personally I thank you for the practical insight that you gain from the everyday experiences of you and your family. I've told you this before but I appreciate how you've shown me to see God in the ordinary.

Anonymous said...

Wendy, I just want to agree with Jared's comments. I look forward to your blog every morning with my coffee to help start my day!

I stopped my 9-5 office job when Katie was 2 and took off my watch. My hope was to stop saying "hurry up." It worked until preschool, then school, sports, dance... I fear I am turning into the parent I used to criticize! We're overextended and overinvolved. I need to work on that. thanks for the help!

Anonymous said...

Wendy, when someone misunderstands and attacks you, consider this phrase from Steve Arterburn's diet video. It may help you like it helps me deal with my hurtful parent, "Do the next right thing." I wish Anonymous thought this thought and then chose to NOT hit the send button. Alas, Anon. is busy using hurtful words, rather than finding a way to help and encourage.

Thank you for being you, a child of God who is on a journey that is hard but full of joy. You definitely encourage us to remember God is with us each step of the way. The "slow club" -- definitely worth sharing.

Anonymous said...

I must say that I am very troubled to hear the attack that "anonymous" so curiously posted without having the courage to share his/her identity. As a daily blog follower and a friend of Wendy's, I would like to add my two cents.

Wendy is a mother, friend, leader, helper AND a pastor (yes, with credentials). Most of all, Wendy is HUMAN, which is really what this blog is all about. I enjoy this blog, because it reminds me of two things: 1) We are not perfect and 2) God forgives us. I like the fact that Wendy reminds us to keep God and his message with us throught our day -- no matter how busy we are.

I think that you have it all wrong "anonymous." Perhaps because you write without knowing all of the facts. While Wendy's blog does share details from her family, trust me, this blog is not the family story. I can personally say that I admire Wendy as a mother and feel that my son has a great friend in her son, JJ (reference the retainer story). Wendy is hurrying up because she spreads the love that she has among so many people. Her children are well balanced, caring, compassionate children who do not question their mother's love for them, nor do they feel deprived of her attention. Perhaps you should note the time that most of her postings occur. I don't know about you, but I think that any good mother has her children in bed at midnight.

Let me share a little story. Once when I was among a group of ladies who questioned what we thought a person we did not truly know had in his heart, Wendy reminded us that in situations like that it is best to be sure that we truly know a person before attacking them or their character. It was a lesson that truly humbled me and made an impression on me that I carry today. Anonymous, I hope that this comment will help you to open your heart and mind to the person that Wendy really is.