Blaming Gaming

I picked one of my sons up from school this week. I saw him walk toward the car talking with his buddy, but as soon as he opened the door and saw his Mom, his eyes welled up with tears.

Every year, the gym teacher at his school pulls 10 names out of a hat to participate in a March Madness basketball tournament. The grade level team plays against the other elementary school teams, and it is a pretty big deal for the kids. My oldest son was selected when he was 10, and his younger brother had been looking forward to his chance for 2 years.

Needless to say, J.J.’s name was not pulled out of the hat, and he was disappointed. Very disappointed.

As we drove to our house though, I noticed something begin to happen. J.J. began to wonder if the selection process was fixed, if the teacher’s pets were chosen and he started to come up with all sorts of malevolent reasons behind his being overlooked.

I listened for a minute, but gently reminded him that sometimes random things happen. Yes, they are disappointing, but they are nobody’s fault. When we got home, I hugged him for a very long time in the kitchen and told him how sorry I was that things had not worked out the way he planned. I assured him that there was nothing random about my love for him.

Isn’t it fascinating how we feel the urge to blame? Not only when unfortunate circumstances occur, but especially when we legitimately fail on our own. The process of simply absorbing and embracing the disappointment or sorrow is not our first choice for some reason, but I suspect we need to practice.

Refuse to blame today. Don’t blame others, don’t blame God. Hug your mother (find a safe place) and feel the pain. You’ll live to dribble another day and you won’t have been unfair or unkind to someone else in the process.