Preference vs. Reverence

I think one of the greatest challenges that the local church faces today is getting over herself. Maybe I shouldn’t say “today” because the church seems to have had this difficulty ever since it formalized (i.e. became an institution) which was a long time ago.
Problems inside the church have been a continual distraction for her.

I can remember when my church was going through a large building program. There was a group of people appointed called “The Decorating Committee.” You wouldn’t believe what they went through – trying to get along while they tried to choose carpeting – all while people less than five miles down the road didn’t have enough to eat.

I think worship wars are another great example. Even though I refuse to call that hour when we gather to celebrate Christ “worship” (we can talk about that later), the problems that occur when you change a person’s Sunday morning service are amazing.

We must be careful that we do not confuse preference with reverence. I vividly remember a Christmas Eve about 5 years ago when the teens participated in our services, and they did a little something unusual. I loved it – probably because all I could see was young people giving their whole selves to the work of the church – but OH the flack I got after that night. One woman in particular called what they did “irreverent” for Christmas Eve.

That woman may not have liked what she saw, but irreverent is a stretch. If you explore worship throughout history – and I mean BIBLICAL examples of how people celebrated God – you may be amazed. The very first “worship” experience in Scripture was led by a woman and involved DANCING and TAMBOURINES. Now you may have stood by the side of the recently parted Red Sea shaking your head disapprovingly if you had been there, but your personal preference doesn’t mean that God didn’t like the noise.

There are biblical references to drama and music and dancing and prayer and eating and a wide variety of instruments – all included in the gathering of believers. And, as much as I love the organ, there is not one single verse that insists every church have one and use it at all times. The exact same is true for guitars.

Pain Relievers

I had a headache yesterday, which is actually a very rare occurrence for me. While I waited for the medication to work, it struck me how interesting pain is.

I could hardly think about anything else as my head pounded and I marveled at how just one thing could influence every other thing I was experiencing – how one part of me could profoundly affect the whole of me.

My kids’ report cards came in the mail (they were great!) but I had difficulty expressing the joy and pride I felt in my heart because of what I felt in my head. I walked through my yard to enjoy the flowers, but the colors seemed less vivid because the bright sun bothered my eyes. You get the idea.

I think we can see life in the same way too. Sometimes when there is one thing out of whack, it is easy to feel like everything is out of whack. Not necessarily so.

Remember the old saying, “Be patient with me, God isn’t finished with me yet”? I do believe that God sees us as works in progress, but often we see the areas of our lives that need work and we conclude. “I’m a mess!” or “I’ll never get there!” At other times, we are experiencing a pain – physical, emotional, spiritual - and it affects how we see the whole world. It taints how we see everything and everyone around us.

Take a deep breath and live in Grace today. God knit you together in your mother’s womb and ordained your days – He knows you. He knows you better than you know you.

And He knows just what medication you need.

No touching

My cousin forwarded this ESPN story to me, and I read it with amazement. Basically, a softball coach did a really small, but perfectly legal, thing. You should read it so that I can make my far out and leaping analogy to the church. Go ahead – read it – then come back.

The point is too clear to pick it apart any further, right? This article perfectly explains my phrase, "I'd rather be righteous than right." Perhaps we, the church, should consider a little rule breaking ourselves?

Beauty Shoppe

My daughter and I played Beauty Shoppe on Saturday. It was very rainy here, so we all had to do indoor activities.

Beauty Parlor is a funny game, really. As I painted nails and curled hair, I wondered how we all got to the place where we put so much importance on how we look. So, I tried a little something new:

Every time I painted a toenail, Mia and I thought of a way that God makes us beautiful. In other words, as I applied the hot pink, she said, “God makes us patient” and with each stroke of the hairbrush, she would smile with, “God helps us forget each other’s mistakes.”

It was great really and maybe worth your time when you stand in front of the bathroom mirror tomorrow morning. With every tooth brushed and every lash curled and every whisker shaved – it might be helpful to review how God is making you beautiful. Take a minute to pause and focus your priorities.

More like a Beauty Stop than Beauty Shoppe.

Rocky Roads

Last night, J.J. and I visited with my Dad for a while. Soon, Dad was making tea and getting out the treats. He and J.J. had Rocky Road cookies, but I don’t like chocolate, so I opted out.

I wish I could opt out of the rocky road that I am travelling right now. Many thanks for your emails and phone calls to tell me you love me and/or care. Just thought I would share a few things.

Rocky roads are a normal part of life – even the Christian life. They grow us and challenge us and they are often a time when God reveals His presence in an extraordinary way if we let Him.

Difficulty occurs when we experience a rocky road without having a clear idea of who God is and how He operates. I heard someone say this week, “God is really messing with me,” in response to a deep struggle she is facing. If we do not start with God in our lives – learning His heart and His ways – we will misinterpret His motives when hard times come.

So, whatever you and I are facing, let’s be clear: Our God is about restoration. He is applying His grace and love to the world (and our lives) in order to reconcile us to Himself and to each other. He is also eternal. He sees a far bigger picture than we can imagine and, not that He doesn’t care about how we feel, but He invites us to look beyond the bumps and sharp turns on our journey. He invites us to look for HIM.

And, just as a simple reminder, God is good. If we know this, then we trust Him – and then there’s no need to opt out.

Most Wanted

On Saturday morning, I got up at 5:15 am to start the laundry. Here’s the thing – the day before I had asked my kids to clean up their rooms, which led to a mile high pile of both clean and dirty clothes in the hamper. Naturally, the clean was not discernable from the dirty (the one winter coat in the middle of June was a dead giveaway) so I decided to just wash it all.

I sat down to fold, and turned on the TV. Since I don’t like my kids to watch some of the stuff I watch, (begs the question: why am I watching things I wouldn’t want my children to see?) I often DVR more grown up shows. One such show is Without A Trace, an FBI drama where people seem to vanish into thin air and become missing persons.

I had 5 episodes saved, and I started with the earliest while I loaded and folded.

After 4 straight episodes, I remembered that I didn’t have any breakfast food in the fridge but I had a bunch of kids sleeping over with mine in the family room. I headed to the supermarket.

In the parking lot, I experienced the craziest paranoia. I viewed other shoppers cautiously, the cart collector guy took on a suspicious hue, and the sight of one particular late model leisure van had me convinced I was about to be abducted. In other words, after filling my head with danger and fear, it was what I experienced – even in a perfectly familiar situation and place.

After laughing at myself, I considered how true it is that what we spend our time doing, the people we choose to hear, and the places we regularly visit have a profound effect on who we become. Basically, we are what we eat.

Ah, but here’s the rub. I think that sometimes Christians think that God asked us to all huddle together in a church in an effort to stay safe – or at least near the stuff that is good. If I spend all my time here, then I will not be affected by less than desirable influences, right?

A great exercise is to ask yourself to name the top 10 people you hang around with. Are they all associated with the church? You may think you are in a perfectly familiar situation and place – but I sense danger.

If the church huddles indoors, the hands and feet of God will not go where they are needed and the gospel will be left without a trace. Christians become missing persons and I don’t think that is what Jesus most wanted.

Communicating and other impossibilities

I have experienced two full weeks of difficulty with communication – both on my part and on the part of others. I was reflecting on this phenomenon last night and I realized that good communication (dare I hope for great communication?) is one of the hardest things to achieve.

When a bunch of folks, or just two married people, try to express themselves, we often forget all the unseen stuff that contributes to the words and style. Ego needs, past hurts, previous experiences, points of view, needs to be recognized (and the beat goes on and on….) all play a part in every word, facial expression and forms of body language that we use. It makes it hard to not only talk, but to understand, doesn’t it?

For me, I am having trouble communicating for a variety of reasons. My friend has died and I can’t quite get my arms around it, so I find myself being angry with unsuspecting living people who are surprised at my responses. I am surprised myself.

I have also been witness to a group of coaches that are so poorly communicating that chaos is ensuing – all because everyone must have his way in a fairly simply solved situation. It still surprises me how quickly things escalate to criticism, sarcasm and power-playing. BUT, if I am truthful, my inner scathing responses to what I perceive to be their outer scathing responses are contributing to the problem, not making peace. Ugh! Makes you want to live under a rock and never relate again.

SO, today, I am disallowing another two weeks of difficult talk by working on uncovering the stuff that contributes to it. If I know that I am grieving, maybe I should talk about that sadness and not transfer all my unsettled feelings into other conversations. Avoidance doesn’t really work, although I think backing away has its merits until self-control can be established.

I really do long to understand you, to really hear and absorb your ideas. I may not agree, but I can always extend the love and respect that you deserve.

On a side note: if you are a believer, I believe that we need to spend time praying for the people of Iran today. God is there and He is working – do not doubt it.

Naked truth

When I am without a book, I am about as uncomfortable as when I wake up from those dreams where I am walking around naked in public (you know, the school bus, the supermarket…). Bookless, I wander around unsure what to do with the very little extra time I have and I constantly wonder what I am missing.

I recently finished a great work of nonfiction, so as I meandered through my book shelf desperate for a temporary fix until I could acquire a new book, I glanced at my collected works of Flannery O’Connor. O’Connor wrote fascinating fiction, most of it taking place in the sweltering South, and since the humidity has be HIGH here in Philadelphia, I decided to pick old Flannery up.

Her best known work is probably Wise Blood, a tale about a disturbed young man named Haze whose late grandfather was a screaming traveling evangelist. Haze spends much of the book convincing himself, and the other characters, that he does not believe in Jesus. At one point, he stands before a crowd (not unlike his late grandfather) and declares, “I’m going to preach a new church – the church of truth without Jesus Christ Crucified. It won’t cost you nothing to join my church. It’s not started yet but it’s going to be.”

As I continue to reread Haze’s struggle, I am struck at how like him we all are. Often we believe or disbelieve things in REACTION to someone or something else, not because they are true or not. Haze’s Bible thumping grandfather left him faithless, but his struggle had nothing to do with whether Jesus is a fact or not.

I do not want to be a reactionary believer, or a reactionary skeptic. Absolute truth is not popular these days, but that does not mean it’s not a fact. If we begin to seek truth, instead of responding in involuntary ways based on experiences, we may be surprised at what does and does not ring true deep within us.

Strip it all off.

Inside Out

I’m sure, if you live in the north or east, that you struggle with the same seasonal issues I do. I was off on Monday, and there was so much work to do OUTSIDE my home that I never accomplished anything INSIDE. Sometimes it’s the opposite and we have clean underwear but the tomatoes are being choked by weeds in the garden.

This inside vs. outside battle is one I struggled with in the church as well. There are certainly different opinions about which needs greater attention – the people of your parish or the people in the community around it? Many times I think that pastors opt for the inside life because it means less complaining in their ears (congregants get pretty upset when their needs aren’t met whereas unbelieving people in the community just die without God – a no brainer right?)

Ah, but here’s the real problem. When people mature INSIDE it should be an involuntary response of their spiritual lives to care for others OUTSIDE. We shouldn’t be able to help it. And, frankly, as we grow up we should complain less too.

I would even take it one step further. I do not believe that real community can be formed inside if we aren’t serving the world together outside. I think most churches form community using strategies – you know, form once-a-week small groups based on age or interest, give them a set of questions to answer and – VIOLA! Community is formed.

Hmmmm.

If I read the New Testament correctly, both the disciples in the Gospels and the early church spent much of their time SERVING others. Yeah, they hung around too, but they had a unity of purpose based on their compulsion to be agents of healing in their world. Out of these choices a community was formed that was so intimate and so tight that even when put to death for their faith, not one person ever recounted the reality of Jesus, His death and resurrection - what they had experienced together. And their commitment to being outside wasn’t a biannual service day when everybody wore matching T-shirts and stacked shelves at a food pantry, it was the primary concern of their lives and gathering.

I don’t know. I know how complex it is. After all, we need clean underwear, right?

Kicking & Screaming

A few years ago, a Will Ferrell movie called Kicking & Screaming came out in theatres. We laughed and laughed, mostly because we play in community sports leagues, and it was about a generally nice and gentle man who lost his head while coaching his son’s soccer team.

The phrase “kicking and screaming” has been running through my lost head lately. It is unfortunate, but sometimes God has had to drag me into His future kicking and screaming. I hope that I never get to experience His Jonah-level persuasion techniques (remember the storm and the fish stomach for three days??) but I can imagine Him shaking His head and smiling – “Need a little push, do we?” It is not necessarily rebellion on my part, it’s more like thick headedness. General stupidity and basic humanness – a generally nice and gentle woman who loses her head.

Today, I am grateful for a God who pursues and pursues – who continues to work in a world that is kicking and screaming against Him. I am thankful that His love endures forever and that He never gives up. How great that I can live with the knowledge that He is working all things together for our good, even when we have to be dragged into that goodness.

No storm necessary, Lord. I’m moving...................albeit slowly.

The force with us?

There have been ample unfortunate examples in the recent news of Christians and violence. Yesterday, an abortion doctor was shot at his church. Studies have shown that evangelicals are more likely to support torture in the interests of national safety than non-believing people. History is riddle with instances like the crusades – moments when Christians believed that violence and/or force was justified – even violence in the name of Christ.

Hmmmmm.

If we believe that Jesus was God and that part of the reason that He joined us on Earth was to reveal the heart of God to humankind – then we need to look very closely at what He did and did not do while He was with us.

Jesus was born during one of the most politically oppressive times in history, a time when torture was the norm (the crucifixions alone…). Isn’t it interesting that despite the political climate of His time, Jesus did not spend all His time training or raising an army to protect Himself and His people?? Why not?

I fully recognize how complicated this issue is. Do we become like sheep to the slaughter and allow our enemies to hurt us? Is the death of one doctor justified if he was killing thousands of babies? Didn’t the God of the Old Testament wipe out whole nations in a moment?

Your thoughts?