OBSESSION and other fragrances by Calvin Klein

I recently created my own Facebook page and I was intrigued by the amount of information that I was asked to provide to create my Profile. Basically, I was pumped for info about everything from my political views, to places where I grow unwanted hair, to whether or not I actually showered today or just sprayed a little perfume on and hoped for the best.

Considering it is still early, and I have not yet decided about the shower, I guess I’d better come clean. I started this blog to establish what my agent likes to call “platform” or “brand equity” before the book comes out. For all of you who are not up to your neck in the literary sub-culture (look for people with pale complexions, uncombed hair, muttering to imaginary characters while standing in line at the post office with their dreams in a 10x13 manila envelope) publishers look at a couple of things before purchasing a manuscript, and an author who has an already established audience is exciting to them. It also helps if you can write, but if you’ve read anything by Joel Osteen, you know that good writing is not a necessity.

But that’s not really the confession part. Yesterday marked the one week anniversary of my little blog and, statistically, things are going well. New people are visiting my small corner of the cyber block party each day.

That’s not what I need to admit, though. This blog has become an obsession, but not for the reasons you may suspect. So, here are the James Frey facts:

Confession #1: First, there is an enormous amount of pressure to post a new entry every morning. Sometimes, my brain is working so hard staring at the empty pages of my book, that I’m sapped for the blog. In other words, my blog is my mental leftovers, the half-way ideas I can’t get to gel.

Confession #2: Blogging leftovers makes me neurotic because I am trying to establish an audience with the blog and who wants to read junk? I often reread my posts and say to myself, “You’re trying too hard. You know better than that. Who will want to buy your book after reading this?”

Confession #3: The thought of no one buying my book is sort of okay. I’ve always been afraid of success. Maybe I’m too honest on those pages anyway. Some people may not like what I have to say.

Confession #4: Being honest is a good feeling though, and I honestly love to write, even if no one ever reads it.

Confessions #5: If no one ever reads it, how will I make a living? Remind me to pick up the paper today. Maybe some employer is looking for an actor/waitress/pastor/writer type person. I’ll look under telemarketing.

Confession #6: Telemarketing may not work for me – I hate it when people don’t like me and people reject telemarketers all day - some even hang up on them. I could grow (even more) insecure. Besides, I just don’t think I would be able to handle the pressure! Trying to combat people’s objections all day would feel like living inside a lion’s cage.

Confession #7: Lions are beautiful and interesting animals. I remember I read a story with a lion in it once… Oh, don’t you just love stories??? Me, too. Actually, I think I feel one brewing within me about a neurotic telemarketer who longs to be a waitress at the circus and she falls for a lion tamer who tries too hard to impress his pastor. Hmmmm, maybe I’ll blog about it tomorrow, right after I spray on a little Obsession and go on with my showerless day.

Confession #8: I need you to spread my blog address around to everyone you know. Then, maybe, you and I can both stop eating leftovers.

Thanks.