Last week, someone made a comment (in a post) that I was weird – even for me. Today will probably not help resurrect my previously sparkling reputation either.
The pictures you are looking at are of the back of a pair of shorts that I have owned for 15 years. I love these shorts. They were a lot smaller when I bought them, but they have made it through pregnancies and picnics and vacations and yard work. If I were able, I would add these shorts to Maria Von Trapps’ list of favorite things. But I refuse to sew them.
Last week, I wore these shorts to a baseball game, and my three girlfriends started to mastermind a plan - one could jump me, the other hold me down, while the other quickly stitched. One of them suggested I write my Weekend Word on the back of my underwear, then at least the hole would serve some purpose, but I would rather tie dye my underwear to match then repair these babies. It took a long time for my shorts to get this bad, and it just seems that any quick fix would not honor the shorts and their efforts to stay together. The split started as something so small, barely visible, but over time has become gaping.
I can never seem to do things the right way. Sometimes this is by design, but there are other moments when I find myself in places and look back to mentally retrace my steps in an effort to figure out when I made the turn to end up here.
I am learning, however, to stop pretending to be surprised at trouble. Really. Now, if a car hits mine from behind, while I am sitting still waiting for the traffic light to change, that is unexpected trouble. But when relationships disintegrate or addictions are exposed or communities are at war, I find it amusing that we act shocked in an effort to seem innocent. There are always plenty of signs on the path to real trouble, sometimes barely visible, but they are there.
It’s a process - when we give ourselves to the things we ought not. It is a series of decisions and choices, over time, before we are actually wallowing in crap. Even when it seems we are “taking the plunge” into something crazy, there was something that happened mentally and emotionally beforehand that allows us to fall of the edge of the world. Slowly, inch by inch, we give our families or integrity or faith away, until we finally recognize that real trouble has arrived. Really, now, things do not crumble in one day.
I may sew my shorts today, even though it took a lot of painstaking effort to get them looking so ruined. I may also spend some time looking for the signs on my path, examining my life for little openings that could end up being gaping holes unless I get out a needle and thread.
The pictures you are looking at are of the back of a pair of shorts that I have owned for 15 years. I love these shorts. They were a lot smaller when I bought them, but they have made it through pregnancies and picnics and vacations and yard work. If I were able, I would add these shorts to Maria Von Trapps’ list of favorite things. But I refuse to sew them.
Last week, I wore these shorts to a baseball game, and my three girlfriends started to mastermind a plan - one could jump me, the other hold me down, while the other quickly stitched. One of them suggested I write my Weekend Word on the back of my underwear, then at least the hole would serve some purpose, but I would rather tie dye my underwear to match then repair these babies. It took a long time for my shorts to get this bad, and it just seems that any quick fix would not honor the shorts and their efforts to stay together. The split started as something so small, barely visible, but over time has become gaping.
I can never seem to do things the right way. Sometimes this is by design, but there are other moments when I find myself in places and look back to mentally retrace my steps in an effort to figure out when I made the turn to end up here.
I am learning, however, to stop pretending to be surprised at trouble. Really. Now, if a car hits mine from behind, while I am sitting still waiting for the traffic light to change, that is unexpected trouble. But when relationships disintegrate or addictions are exposed or communities are at war, I find it amusing that we act shocked in an effort to seem innocent. There are always plenty of signs on the path to real trouble, sometimes barely visible, but they are there.
It’s a process - when we give ourselves to the things we ought not. It is a series of decisions and choices, over time, before we are actually wallowing in crap. Even when it seems we are “taking the plunge” into something crazy, there was something that happened mentally and emotionally beforehand that allows us to fall of the edge of the world. Slowly, inch by inch, we give our families or integrity or faith away, until we finally recognize that real trouble has arrived. Really, now, things do not crumble in one day.
I may sew my shorts today, even though it took a lot of painstaking effort to get them looking so ruined. I may also spend some time looking for the signs on my path, examining my life for little openings that could end up being gaping holes unless I get out a needle and thread.
4 comments:
I may also spend some time looking for the signs on my path, examining my life for little openings that could end up being gaping holes unless I get out a needle and thread.
Can WE fix the gaping holes in our lives? Somtimes I wish I could fix them and it was as simple a ten minute sewing adventure. I have found for me that I can fix none of them out of my strength and it often takes God years to fix them. I supose like the lovely shorts that are so comfortable with gapong holes there are so many things I just have to let go of and surrender to HIM.
Larry Crabb may have it right when he talks about the healing from the inside out.
Hmmm.. I agree with you to a point. Letting go and surrendering is different than ignoring signs or rationalizing decisions. You're right - by the time real trouble has set in - our own needle and thread is inadequate for any real healing - but I suspect God longs for us to recognize the signs and offers us both grace and healing long before we get to a sinking place. I am not suggesting I can heal myself, I am suggesting I can avoid some of my sickness.
Do you think once the sickness is identifiable "recognize the signs", the option/choice of "avoidance" is to late? If it is to late, then God's grace is the healing needed. So often for me their is that simple recognition/surrender that begins the healing process. Is it as simple as "Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done"?
I have $20 to buy lunch?
I don't usually go on blind dates:) but I am so thankful that you are forcing me to articulate my idea here. As I reread, I see how easily it could be interpreted in certain ways.
For example, I do think that before you are addicted to Internet pornography, there is the smaller decision to put the computer in a private part of the house. Is grace needed to see this small opening and avoid walking through? In my opinion, grace is needed for everything.
Surrendering to the macro "Your kingdom come" is essential to seeing the signs, YES! But self-control IS a fruit of the Spirit. SO, to your point, controlling the self without a taste of grace is impossible.
Thanks for the questions and challenge. I LOVE IT!
Post a Comment