Can You hear me now?

I have a terrible cell phone. Not only is it old and lacking in almost all bells and/or whistles, I have dropped it so many times that it no longer rings. It still vibrates - intermittently - so sometimes I know I have a call, but mostly I don't.

It is the perfect cell phone for me. I do not always want to be found. There are lots of people worried about missing calls or communications, but I am not one of them. I have moments when I stand in the park and pretend that I am lost in the wilderness and it seems okay - until I need toilet paper or pizza or something. In college, I studied Communications. That seems funny now.

I was reading someone's blog yesterday, and the writer was lamenting her relationship with God. She was fretting about how intermittent it felt, how at times she felt so close to Him and at other times she wondered if He was even real, and she was wondering how to find the utopia that life with God is supposed to be. I can honestly say that I no longer have these struggles, although I used to until I saw my relationship with God for what it is - a relationship.

As crazy as I am about God, I am also just generally crazy. Since I am a real human being and I am in a real relationship, even if it is with the God of the Universe, it is bound to be imperfect on my part. It's a lot like writing. Some days I feel like I could write forever and words come easily, and some days I stare at the computer for hours, fiddling with the margins. But I still get up and write. Every day.

David - poet, musician, king, adulterer, defeater of Goliath - knew the same thing and he wrote tons of Psalms about the intermittent nature of people. In Psalm 3 we hear him say:

I lie down and sleep;

I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
I will not fear the tens of thousands

drawn up against me on every side.

David is sleeping soundly because he and God are pretty tight.

Later, in Psalm 6, David says:

My soul is in anguish.

How long, O LORD, how long?

I am worn out from groaning;

all night long I flood my bed with weeping

and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow;

they fail because of all my foes.

A very different type of night for David.

See life with God for what it is - life with God. Enjoy just knowing Him. Communicate honestly. Admit when you feel lost or want to be. Enjoy the deep peaceful sleeps, fiddle with the margins, and invite Him to sit on your couch when it's drenched with tears. He's already there anyway, you might as well admit it.

He is eager to be known by you. He told me so. We're pretty tight.