SO, it may be time for me to find a rock and crawl underneath it. You know, when in doubt, avoid.
SO, I got a request from my agent yesterday that put me in a tailspin. The gory details would interest you, I’m sure, but suffice it to say that she had to talk me off the ledge. I am crazy about her, and she asked a perfectly legitimate question, but you try making sense of your innermost thoughts and feelings – simply brutal.
SO, while I am battling those inner writing demons that we’ve discussed before, I get an email that is not very nice from someone else. I promptly hit the reply button, without counting to ten, and needless to say I found myself sending TWO emails – the second apologizing for the first.
SO, I decide to take a deep breath and stop being dramatic. I don’t want to be my agent’s project, I want to be her client – and I want to be a low maintenance one – not one that she is speeding to bridges to repeatedly rescue with words of affirmation. I decide to see the issue clearly. Hmmmm. This may take some time.
SO, I admit the impossibility of how things feel versus how they really are and I recognize that my impulsivity is the best/worst thing about me. You know, that aspect of one’s personality that in some situations is stellar, and in others, humiliating? Impulsivity is the thing that compels me to feed strangers and listen to the lonely and show grace to the fallen without hesitation. Impulsivity is also the thing that produces spontaneous tears in public arenas, paralyzing moments of self-doubt and less-than-encouraging email replies.
SO, where’s that rock?
“SO, if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.” Colossians 3:1-2 (The Message).
SO, I got a request from my agent yesterday that put me in a tailspin. The gory details would interest you, I’m sure, but suffice it to say that she had to talk me off the ledge. I am crazy about her, and she asked a perfectly legitimate question, but you try making sense of your innermost thoughts and feelings – simply brutal.
SO, while I am battling those inner writing demons that we’ve discussed before, I get an email that is not very nice from someone else. I promptly hit the reply button, without counting to ten, and needless to say I found myself sending TWO emails – the second apologizing for the first.
SO, I decide to take a deep breath and stop being dramatic. I don’t want to be my agent’s project, I want to be her client – and I want to be a low maintenance one – not one that she is speeding to bridges to repeatedly rescue with words of affirmation. I decide to see the issue clearly. Hmmmm. This may take some time.
SO, I admit the impossibility of how things feel versus how they really are and I recognize that my impulsivity is the best/worst thing about me. You know, that aspect of one’s personality that in some situations is stellar, and in others, humiliating? Impulsivity is the thing that compels me to feed strangers and listen to the lonely and show grace to the fallen without hesitation. Impulsivity is also the thing that produces spontaneous tears in public arenas, paralyzing moments of self-doubt and less-than-encouraging email replies.
SO, where’s that rock?
“SO, if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.” Colossians 3:1-2 (The Message).
SO, maybe I should stand on it, not hide underneath.
2 comments:
i know how you feel. I make sure that people around me know that I'm a christian and I try to live the christian life but when we're down people look at us and, sometimes rather than help us, they ask where's your god now? We just have to remember that no matter how hard we try to get on that rock, we can't... at least not without the helping hand of the one person that's already on that rock. This is not an excuse, but we are still broken humans who need help.
<3
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