Reclamation

I can remember, not so long ago, when my children were smaller and I really believed that in a few short years I would get some privacy back. Now, if that sounds selfish to you, I can almost guarantee that you do not have children.

Yesterday, after dinner, I decided to jump in the shower quickly before the Phillies game. My usual after dinner routine is homework and instruments and projects, but since I haven’t been feeling well, I decided to breathe in some steam.

J.J. was undeterred. About 5 seconds into my shower, he opened the door and arrived in the bathroom, set up his music stand, sat on the toilet, and played his saxophone for mom to hear. I stood, shampooing, and stifled the laughter that was bubbling within me. My life, space and time are completely owned.

As my son practiced his Christmas carols (getting prepared for the holiday concert), I thought about the feeling of sharing every part of me and the desire to reclaim self. I picked up the conditioner and remembered the conversation our Sunday School class had this week about what it really means to be blessed and whether what you give, God really promises to give back. (ref. Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.) Besides recognizing the fact that it is one of the most taken-out-of-context distorted scriptures of all time when applied to finances, I had this great moment where I realized that when I give all of me, I am empty enough to get all of Him. And He is so much greater than me that “the fullness of Christ” is like a running over – an overflow, if you will – within me and around me. More of Him and less of me.

These words of Jesus, in context, look like this:
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Each concept – judging, condemning, forgiving, giving – are seen in a reciprocal relationship.

Careful, though, because it’s tempting to think that I can make the first move, or earn, what God has for me. I don’t think that’s God’s point. I think He’s saying, “Wendy, when you dare to give yourself away, you’re finally in a position to experience all of Me – emptiness leads to all the blessing and love and fulfillment that I am waiting to pour out.”

I don’t even know if this makes sense. I’m still thinking through how to articulate the thought. And maybe you had to be there. Now, I’m all for sharing and everything, but I’m not quite ready for all of you to join me in the shower.