I know you already think I reveal too much. Someone once sent me an email wondering if I was going to begin updates on the color of my underwear daily. I don’t think the person meant it to be nice, but I strongly suspect he is a tighty whitey guy – that alone would make anyone cranky. Regardless, I have a confession to make. I am worn out. I am worn out in almost every way. Physically (I really need extra sleep, but those darn Phillies are in the World Series), emotionally, and mentally - I am profoundly tired. I have been here before, because I tend to live a little too close to the edge of over-extended. I only actually fall off the edge into the Valley of Complete Breakdown once a decade or so, and I’m certainly not anywhere near that cliff right now, but I could consider the idea of going to bed for a week or so with an electric blanket and vanilla cream puffs.
I think that when we choose to participate in real life, it can be awfully draining. A lot of people choose not to, and I suspect they want to avoid the exhaustion of it all – the hardness of opting to know and be known. We stay away from difficult family members or strange coworkers or uncomfortable past relationships. I’m guilty too.
Although there is a healthy self-preservation, a protection from dangerous people and situations, I think we elect our own interests way too often in an effort to feel good (or relaxed or blameless or satisfied or undisturbed). Funny though, over the long haul, I don’t think it feels good at all. At the very best we are left with things unfinished, and at the worst, we are left alone.
Somebody told me to look up love this week. The well-know love passage (1 Corinthians 13) says:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I think Paul (the writer) should have added:
Love is hard. Love is worth it.
4 comments:
Have you ever tried inserting your name for the word love in that passage? Todd is patient, Todd is kind, etc.
Anyway, I don’t think anyone is going to disagree that God wants us to participate in “real life.” However, I’m concerned that living real life could be a rationalization for just wearing yourself out. In a previous post you talked about being depleted and God filling the emptiness (or something like that). I actually think you’re on to something there, but God is very clear about his intention for us to have rest and margins in our life.
I mentally buy into the need for sabbath rest (and daily solitude), that idea of being in Shalom in the midst of the storm and there are some great recent books on it recently (see Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Scazzero). But, in practice, it sure does seem rare to experience that renewal and rest even with spiritual disciplines in place. I have been recently contemplating the difference between our cultural need for productivity and Jesus' promise of fruitfulness. Being a grape sounds less stressful than being a widget I think.
Wendy - Weren't we going to have a "conversation" about preserving or honoring our culture or something? We can take it.
Todd, I so agree with your observations about rest and margins, and some of the ways I feel are more a function of my personality (I'm more of a Peter than a John). HOWEVER, I do believe that Christians rest on their laurels far too much and avoid the fray then call it "healthy boundaries." Love is inconvenient, you know? How often to we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced? or interrupted?
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